If I have to explain, you wouldn’t understand!


February 27, 2013 by 43andfatfree and RobertRoyston.net

So tonight I had a great and really funny talk with a friend about weight and more specifically about being addicted to food. Yes thats right I said addicted (Addiction is the continued use of a mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse dependency consequences,[1] or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors.) Well for me thats always been food… have you ever had a stressful day and on your drive home stopped at a fast food joint pigged out on a super sized meal in about 10min, then drive home to lie to your room mate about not having eaten in hours so that you can share a large pizza and cola with them… then have dessert!! All while hiding the fact that you do this kind of thing most days!! Well thats just one example of using food as a crutch, its not about being hungry at all its about feeling good in the moment while at the same time torturing yourself. Its Gulit, Pleasure, Pain, Satisfaction, Shame and more all rolled up into food. I have done this type of thing and so much more in my life!! I call it “Food Hiding” Hiding what I have eaten from anyone and even lying about it to the ones I love.

Then to rub salt in the wound I turn on the tv and hear some “Expert” Who has NEVER been fat, tell me I should learn to stop eating when I feel full… UM… F’ You… Its not about feeling full or being hungry… Another one the experts say is “feeling good when you look in the mirror is more satisfying then feeling good from the taste of that burger!” I USED TO SAY THIS BY THE WAY! But if you don’t like how you look in the mirror right now and I need to feel good right now… well… the burger wins every time. The first thing you should do if you feel like this, and as in all addiction programs, is admit your addiction, admitting you use food in times of stress and depression to try and alter your mental state even though deep down you know your hurting yourself. Also try not to use excuses like, “well I eat when I’m bored”, thats one of many excuses that has much deeper roots. If you are over weight and you say “I just ate that cause I was bored”… you aren’t really facing your issue.

So enough of my rant tonight LOL But I do wanna leave you with this. There will be people who say “You cant be addicted to food”, “Depression eating is an excuse”, “You just have no will power, so get over it and stop making up Disorders to fit your weight problem” and to those people I say “IF I HAVE TO EXPLAIN, YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND”  

To my weight journey peeps out there, your not alone I love and support you all, so keep up the good work!!! Peace 43&FF

7 thoughts on “If I have to explain, you wouldn’t understand!

  1. Sandy says:

    You are so right Robert – if you have to explain, they just don’t understand. If it was as easy as just saying it (have will power, stop when you feel full, etc), there would be no obesity in the world. It’s a struggle that can only be felt if you’ve been there. Admitting is a huge part. What many don’t understand too is that once you start a life style change and you’re not using food as a crutch, the feelings you were stuffing will come to the surface. You have to be prepared for that and know you have to find a way to deal with them that doesn’t involve food. Love you openess – your journey has been mine as well.

  2. Cindy says:

    OMG, it’s like you’ve been inside my head!

  3. Stacy Hart says:

    “Food is the most overused anti-anxiety drug and exercise is the most under-utilized antidepressant”-Bill Phillips
    Your story parallels so much of my weight story and i love the openness of your sharing. Keep being such a great inspiration!
    Now where is my copy of Robert’s Swing Out Workout……

  4. Robert, I am really enjoying this blog and I love that you are just putting it all out there for all of us to share in and be motivated with. Thank you!

  5. Kimmie says:

    This one entry just made me cry… Have never been able to explain this to anybody. (Even sometimes to myself) Thank you, for the insight. :*\

  6. Dawn says:

    Robert, you are a warrior and an inspiration! Keep going – you have endless successes ahead of you and on-going adventures of joy, love and giving to look forward to. Happy anniversary to you and Nicola and THANK YOU for being so emotionally and intellectually generous with your dance, weight-loss and other journeys. You have a valuable and unique perspective. Peace, bro!

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